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Helping people thrive.
The #1 Most Critical Skill You Need for Relationship Success
You might be thinking it's great communication, but it's not. It's not about your background, education, relatives, values or life experiences either. It's not physical attraction. All these things matter, but not nearly as much as the most critical skill matters.
You won't read much about this critical skill, but you should. It's a skill that many partners in relationships don't have. Relationships can't be successful without it. The consequences are obvious in many of the couples I work with. It's a skill I've needed to develop in myself too, before I could ever have made my own relationship dreams come true with a marriage that's healthy and happy and truly thrives.
"Time-Out": How to Protect Your Relationship from Strong Emotions
Relationships are stressful at times and we all know what it feels like to "lose it" when our stress levels rise too high. Marriage therapists call this being "emotionally flooded".
Many couples make the mistake of continuing an interaction when one or both partners are emotionally flooded, which is a really bad idea. When emotionally flooded, we are not in our "rational" brain. We are very likely to say and do things that are harmful to our relationship health.
Use time-outs as a circuit breaker to halt an interaction when one or both of you have become emotionally flooded and are no longer in your "adult" (rational) brain.
Mistakes Partners Make When Discussing Emotional Issues (and How to Avoid Them)
What had started as a peaceful afternoon riverside walk quickly changed into the equivalent of a stroll through a relationship minefield, as hubby and I stumbled upon an unresolved issue that had been hovering in the wings for a week or two, refusing to go away.
Unlike minor relationship challenges and gripes, which are sometimes better off "let through to the keeper," I knew that this issue, if left unresolved, had the potential to influence our relationship in a negative way.
"From the very first session I really liked your approach with us, because you were not biased and also you were so clear and direct.”
Craig, Maroochydore
“Pamela has an ability to explain concepts very clearly. She helped us see how we could interpret things differently and make changes to reduce everybody's stress.”
Bec & Dave, Coolum
“After completing Pamela's Couples Toolkit, everything has changed. We now know how to really listen, so we both feel confident discussing any issue (rather than avoid it as we would so often do before). We don't get stuck when things go off track - we now know how to repair quickly. No more cycles of fighting followed by silence - it's such a massive relief. Thanks so much Pamela.”
Ruby & Matt, Sunshine Coast
